The Sheriff's coming in a minute to pick up $300 he says we owe from 2001. We help (a point of clarification for those who don't know our history) people who don't manage their affairs very well. I talked to Warren, the Sheriff's man on the phone explaining how I'm very good and proper at paying people's fines because I know Warren, indeed, all Sheriff's Officers, have no hesitation in arranging the arrest of a non-compliant debtor or alleged debtor.
Ah! The heavy hand of the Sheriff's Office. No mucking around, no bleeding hearts. Reminded me of the inglorious days of the all-powerful clerics. No mucking around then, either. No, bleeding hearts except the penitent's or petitioners. Just black and white. Pay the fine or get arrested and locked up for a period of time estimated, by God knows who, as the ticking equalling of $300.
What I want to do, but don't, is get a lawyer to demand a search of files at the Court whence came the warrant to arrest.
But whoa! The Commonwealth is in a struggle with India. The State is on holidays Warren is right out of the sitcom about the invasion of the Sheriff's officers. He got no Christmas leave so why should the good citizens of Victoria be left in peace in 100-degree heat. Warren knows, by nature or nurture, when citizens are at their most helpless.
Anyway, he's coming at 12.30 pm, just after my midday command Church performance. The dozen churchgoers expect me to be there and on time.
Warren expects me to be here and on time. Safran expects me to be at Triple J later this arvo, having read the scripted interviews (lovingly prepared weekly by producer Serpil) and hot to trot to Safran's sardonic beat.
Since the silly season started, i.e. Christmas 07, and my parish infrastructure went into silly season mode, I've kept a record of just a few days here on my own. I know workers need breaks, I just wonder, in this whiz bang volunteerism era, why I can't expect local churches, allegedly the heart of this neighbourhood to be open for a few hours every day of the year?
Here's my entries in the log book for a few days 29/12 - 8/1.
'Couple of weddings today, 2 pm and 4 pm. So far, so good, because we do good happy weddings here. Carol and Elaine make sure of that.
30-year-old bloke at parish house door straight after wedding. CCTV should be installed and replayed for parishioners, especially 'leadership groups', to demonstrate need for continuous staffing by volunteers.
Parish house needs to be staffed for, at least, part of each day, including holidays.
There are no days off for a parish intending to be the heart of the neighbourhood. Maybe, I'm the only one with this aspiration but I truly believe that Sts Peter and Paul had this vocation thrust upon it over recent, say 30, years of local social disruption.
Some local churches, as well as clubs and pubs, aspire to be shrines, catering for devotees and tourists only.
Our parish is open to all, in principle, and wants to cater for Catholic parishioners and locals of any code or creed. The parish house built in the 1860s is now a house of hospitality for the poor.
It needs to be staffed by at least one 'duty' officer for part of each day of the holiday season.
Maybe the only way to activate well-meaning parishioners and existing volunteers to do more is to show CCTV footage of a typical day of the 'silly season' around the parish precinct.
We're not a $ business. We're a provider of spiritual and corporal goods and services - that's the model of Catholicism developed here since 1973 (in keeping with the preceding 100 years).
Log entries have a certain sameness like 'No, were not open' in respect to several transients and some local inquirers. Compensated callers with $20 each, to refresh themselves in over 100 degree heat.
There are a couple of log entries about a new tactic by transients. They follow you into church even knowing that there's a congregation watching, and haggle publicly for a few $s.
This is a new style, probably indicating these petitioners are transients recently released from prison, therefore relying on 'old world' direct approach style.
These blog ravings help me but I do hope do you no harm. I'll be more deep and meaningful next week.